


destiny

by froghurt



Series: stories [3]
Category: Code Geass
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Introspection, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Zero Requiem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-16 11:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17548820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froghurt/pseuds/froghurt
Summary: lelouch and c.c. have bid each other farewell before - this time, it just happens to be for good.





	destiny

**Author's Note:**

> based off of [this official story](https://mononoke-no-ko.tumblr.com/post/178782345494/code-geass-mini-story) but retold through lelouch's point of view ( ´ ▽ ` )

Lelouch supposed he should consider himself lucky that he came across C.C. as he did.

She had been getting ready to head out, it seemed, evidenced by the Cheese-kun she held in one hand and a surprisingly under-stuffed duffel bag in the other. C.C. had been avoiding him for a couple of days now; it was around then that Lelouch, too, started ignoring the heaviness that made its way to his chest whenever he thought of her. If it hadn’t been for his stumbling upon her, she would have probably left without a trace.

(Had Lelouch not known any better, he would have thought she was entirely indifferent to their situation altogether. Admittedly, the complete lack of emotion she was displaying throughout this entire ordeal bothered Lelouch much more than he would have liked.)

“C.C.,” he called out.

_I will ask this of you one last time._

“Are you leaving?”

_Talk to me. Please._

There was a distinguishable moment of hesitation before the sound of her footsteps came quietly to a halt. C.C. tilted her head over her shoulder, her eyes lazily looking him over. When C.C. angled her body towards his own, her answer was nothing short of blunt.

“Yeah. I no longer have a reason to stay here, after all.”

Lelouch winced internally. He understood he was in no position to negotiate with her, so he gave way to only the most suffocating of silences as they both continued to dance around an unspoken truth. Lelouch had  _failed_  – not only in upholding his end of their contract, but he had failed _her_ , period. 

So, in return, Lelouch could only give her a stiff nod in agreement as he replied, “I see... you’re right.”

He averted his gaze, the guilt continuing to eat at him from the inside. It would make sense for her to be disappointed in him – to resent him, even. Lelouch supposed he should have always known that this contract of theirs (this  _relationship_  that they had) had never been made to last, despite how hard they had tried to change that. Perhaps, now, all that he could hope to do was engrave her to his memory for as long as possible. 

Lelouch recalled the pain that had flickered across her face, reflected against the soft, orange light swimming around them in the World of C – though she had covered it up quickly – when she had realized that he, too, would be leaving her soon. He knew... God, they  _both_  knew she deserved better.

She had come along and turned his plans, his  _world_  upside down, and yet... 

Maybe he _should_ let her know about how grateful he was for having her around, and of the strange feeling of home that Lelouch felt whenever she was. How he felt as though parts of her very soul had been infused with his, to the point where her pain had become his own – and her happiness, too. Her strange quips and behavior which had grown on him and the solace Lelouch found in her lingering presence, the comfort he found in her jests. The pool of warmth he felt in the pit of his stomach whenever she looked at him with fondness in her eyes, or a small smile on her lips.

He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been mulling over it for a while. He hadn’t been planning on saying anything, really, (even if it was something that he had wanted to get off his chest, it was selfish and cruel, he knew, he  _knew)_  but looking at her now, something inside of him didn’t think he could get let go – not her, too – without letting her know.

Besides, Lelouch knew of her true wish...  and if it could give her any semblance of solace, too, then... well, it must be worthwhile. 

Thus, he took a step towards her, reaching out to her with a steady hand (deliberately attempting to ignore the tightness in his chest and the increasingly dry lump in his throat), and started, “Listen, C.C., I-”

Her golden eyes snapped wide open. C.C. turned her body completely around until they were face-to-face. Lelouch felt C.C. emotionally withdraw herself from the conversation even before she had uttered a word.

“Stop it, Lelouch.”

 _Please,_  her eyes begged.

“If it’s an apology or a confession of your regret, I don’t need to hear it. Everyone who died before me did the same thing; such words bear no meaning to me in the grand scheme of things. The fact of the matter is that they die, and I can’t. That’s all there is to it.”

Her words, her  _tone,_  cut into him like a sharp knife, but Lelouch figured he more than deserved it. His heart couldn’t help but clench at the desolate look in her eyes.

“Rather than mere words, arrange for a parting gift,” C.C. pitched with what he could only assume was faked cheer. “Like, access to a large supply of pizza, or transportation for the trip."

Lelouch hated that she felt so unreachable, untouchable. He could only reply with what he assumed was what she wanted of him: an answer that was equally as clipped as her own when he had first stopped her.

“...I got it. I’ll prepare what you desire.”

 “As expected from His Majesty,” C.C. said in softly response, smiling at him, as if to show that she was proud of him, as if to congratulate him (of course she would do such a thing at a time like this,  _of course)_ and his stomach turned. She was the last person who should be commemorating him. In fact, C.C.  _should_  resent him, not stand there and be praising his accomplishments, for they had done nothing but burden her even further.

It was then that Lelouch realized that he had to know, he had to know that at the very least C.C. would be  _okay_ , that she would be alright.

“C.C., you... what are you going to do?"

Her gaze hardened at the question, but amusement laced her words when she replied.

“For the time being, I will offer prayers.”

Oh. Well, that certainly wasn't the answer he had been expecting.

“Prayers?”

A light smirk, his curiosity getting the better of him.

It was when another smile was her only response that Lelouch realized the mistake he had made. C.C. had found what she was looking for  _(his_ smile,  _his_  happiness). She gave him a half-hearted bow and turned to leave once more.

_Damn it._

The moment her back was on him, Lelouch wanted to call out to her again, to say something, anything at all but he bit his tongue and forced himself to not; doing such things would have been cruel and selfish, and he knew he had been quite enough of that.

Suzaku gave him nothing more than a solemn nod, his face tired and worn, when he made his way back to his throne (though Lelouch didn’t fail to pick up on the subtle ring of pain cinched around his eyes). The exhaustion from the conversation threatened to overtake Lelouch as well when he looked over to the empty seat beside him. The air suddenly felt thick and impossible, leaving Lelouch with a desperate need to get it all over with. He pushed aside the bitterness that lingered in his mouth and the incessant nagging of a soft and gentle smile... followed by a pair of sad, lonely eyes.

_I promise to stay with you till the very end._

There was... no other way, absolutely none. He had to keep telling himself that. There was no other way all of this could have played out. He wagered only a fool would have ever thought ( _hoped, wished, longed for_ ) otherwise.

_I have never met a man like you before._

Lelouch drummed his fingers slowly against his thigh and softly shook his head, the ends of his mouth slightly titled upwards. Fate – as horrifying as it could be – was quite the amusement.

“Jeremiah, will you make sure to contact C.C. and ensure all of her requests are fulfilled?” A pause. “We won’t be seeing her again.”

“...Of course, your Majesty. I’ll have a troop of guards accompany her to make sure she reaches her destination safe and secure. She can ask of them anything she wants along the way.”

At that, Lelouch crossed his legs and leaned back into the velvet cushions of his throne, loosely lacing his fingers together.

“That sounds good. Thank you, Jeremiah.”

_Lelouch, do you know why snow is white?_

Soft, gentle smile... sad, lonely eyes.

_It's because it's forgotten the color it once was._

Swallowing down what he assumed was bile threatening to spill over from the back of his throat, he let out a small, inaudible breath. He supposed there was no running away from destiny, after all.

It was time.

Time for the Zero Requiem.


End file.
